Life…
How are you?
What a loaded question.
Have you ever stopped to notice what happens in your body the moment someone—anyone—asks you that?
How are you?
Most of the time the response comes out automatically:
“Good! How are you?”
But is good the real answer…
or just the fastest one?
The easiest one.
The socially acceptable one.
The one that doesn’t require us to stop.
I had a moment of reflection around this recently. There’s been a lot happening — and honestly, I used to be better at checking in with myself. Somewhere along the way, under the excuse of life, I drifted back to the quick fix response.
Good.
Fine.
Busy.
Every day. Minute to minute.
It all seems to be filled with something.
I close the hotel late, get home around midnight, put on my headlamp, and start farm chores — cleaning, feeding chickens and ducks so they’re ready for the morning. By the time I’m inside, it’s 1am. I still have to shower, feed the cats and dog, and somehow convince my nervous system that it’s time to rest.
But I can’t just turn the lights off and sleep.
My body feels awake.
Sometimes it’s 3am before I finally drift off.
Morning comes fast.
My kitten is flopped directly on my face, purring and wiggling like stillness is physically impossible for her. I’m tired. My eyes are closed, but my mind slowly turns on…
Email this.
Write that.
Call or text.
Kids.
Work.
Art.
Farm.
Me.
OKKKK. I’m up.
Each animal in my house has a full personality — feelings, emotions, opinions — and I chose to bring them into my life, so I choose to give them time. They’re family. They deserve to feel that.
Shades pulled.
So thirsty.
And omg — I have to pee.
From dishes and laundry to caring for my niece and nephew, the day moves until around 2pm. Nap time. A small window opens. What can I fit in before 4pm when I have to leave for work again?
Throw something together to eat.
Get dressed.
Feed the animals.
So many little details.
I’m in the car.
Or planning an event.
Or running a camp.
Or building a project.
Dinner with elderly parents — 7:30 sharp.
Farm chores again.
And all of this while my body is navigating fatigue, brain fog, and the quiet reality of life changes.
I try to find pockets of time to create the things my heart wants so badly to bring into the world.
Home from work at midnight.
Laying in bed, drifting toward sleep, the dreams I carry glow softly — like cherry blossoms sparkling in the snow.
And then…
omg.
I have to pee.
So anyway… you were asking?
How am I?
What I realized through all of this is that deeper questions are necessary for real human connection. With ourselves. With each other.
“How are you?” is a doorway — but most of us don’t walk through it.
Deeper Questions for Real Check-Ins
Instead of asking How are you?, what if we asked:
Did you eat today? What did you eat?
Is there one thing sticking out to you today — good or hard?
Is today a good day… or a day that needs support?
What was a high point today? Even something random.
What was the low point?
Is there something weighing on you right now?
Is there something I can help with that would free up your energy or time?
Do you want to talk about it?
Do you want company without talking?
Can I just sit with you?
Sometimes presence is the answer — not advice.
Mini Lesson Add-On (Adults, Teens, or Even Little’s)
Theme:
Listening to the body before answering the mind
Simple Prompt (1–2 minutes):
Before answering “How am I?”, pause and notice:
Your breath
Your shoulders
Your belly
Your energy level
Ask:
Does my body feel fast or slow?
Heavy or light?
Tight or open?
Then answer honestly — even if the answer is:
“I don’t know yet.”
That counts.
